Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
