His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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