jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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