problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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