Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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