cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
