I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
