Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
