all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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