sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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