So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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