i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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