I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You are a genius and a whore.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
