That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
