YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
