i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
