You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
