dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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