I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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