How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
our cab driver is having phone sex.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
