Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
