I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
