If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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