Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
