there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
