I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
