I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
