Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
