Me too!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
