I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
