so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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