Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
