it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
