please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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