Christians are straight up FREAKS
someone threw a dead crab at me
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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