hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
