i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
