there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
