I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
