Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
how does that bad decision feel?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
