There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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