the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
