Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
high people should be assigned attendants
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
