i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
