This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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