ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
