Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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