Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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