Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
