is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
