oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
